What is Self-Esteem?
A strong belief in yourself and a loving opinion of yourself. A strong confidence in your ability to do and be anything.
Image - Jackson David
We all have a lack of confidence or self-doubt at times, and at other times we are totally in love with who we are, and how we are in the world. There is a very clear difference between a healthy self-esteem and a wilted self-esteem. This comes down to two things: your belief in yourself and your valuation of yourself. Most people seem to have one or the other – a blooming relationship with our self-esteem or a wilting one – without a lot of middle ground.
Different kinds of Self-Esteem
When you have a good relationship with yourself, and your self-=esteem is high, you know you do. Even if in childhood you recieved the message that being to smart or special was wrong. You still believe in yourself. You believe you can do anything you set your mind to.
You may have even overdeveloped your self-esteem; over-compensating with self-confidence and self-regard for a lack of self-love in other areas – maybe a lack of self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-pleasure, self-honour and so on. If this sounds like you, keep shining your light, keep believing in yourself, and begin to become more aware of how your overdeveloped self-esteem could be stopping you from experiencing the pleasure, joy, peace, and love that come from giving energy and attention to other Heartfelt Journeys of Self-Love.
Or perhaps your relationship with self-esteem is different. Maybe you don’t’ currently have a strong self-confidence or conviction in your ability to achieve anything you set out or conquer or amass? If you wouldn’t say you possess an almost unshakable belief in and regard for yourself – your abilities, ideas, contributions, and value – then your have a self-esteem is in need of strengthening.
The goal for all of us is to have balanced, healthy branches of self-esteem – not too big or small, but just right. One of the simplest ways of balancing your self-esteem is to believe in your gifts. We have all come into life with many gifts that we can share to the world.
Dare to be special and embrace your gifts.
Let’s start with you believing and owning just how ridiculously fabulous you are, which means you become willing to own every proclamation that follows. Say these statements out loud and notice what bubbles up for you, or doesn’t, as you make these proclamations about yourself:
“I am fabulous.”
“I am talented.”
“I am special.”
“I am wise.”
“I am gifted.”
It’s all true; you are, you know, fabulous, talented, special, wise, gifted.
I invite you to journal on what came up here. How did it feel saying these things out loud about yourself? Super easy? Joy-full? Can you say "Of course I am"? Or did speaking this way about yourself make you feel uncomfortable? Phony and forced? Thinking to yourself "I don’t really believe this"
? Either reaction is ok. Just notice what is true for you. When you focus on and apply energy to them, your gifts, you will grow exponentially.
Your gifts are valuable – value yourself
Daring Act of Love
Let someone you love tell you in person, face-to-f ace, what gifts she or he sees in you, Pick a person you trust, but who will happily and fully play this game. Standing or sitting across from this person, ask him or her, “What do you love about me?” The person then replies by saying “(insert your name, what I love about you is…..” As that person talks, your only job is to listen and receive what is said. Look your friend in the eyes, open your heart, and receive this love.
Afterward, just say, “Thank you,” and mean it. Stay in your heart; don’t move into your head or start to giggle or dissipate the energy. Do this for at least one minute. Then, you get to add on to what your friend said for another minute and express to the person who has just loved on you what you love about you, by saying something like; “That was so helpful. It’s helped me open up to express what I love about me. Can I share with you?” And then go ahead and say out loud to this wonderful witness, “What I love about me is…..”
Then have ago at this - Ask if you can do the same for your friend – if you can let her know what you love about her, and then witness as she speaks of what she loves about herself.
Seeing others’ gifts help us embrace ours even more.
Enjoy the process. Go slow, go gentle. Be kind to yourself. Trust yourself and reach out if you have anything that comes up that you have trouble moving through xx
I look forward to sharing the next Heartfelt Journey with you soon. In the meantime, I invite you to journal what thoughts come up for you, process things and most of all be kind to you.
Until next time, enjoy this Journey and try to love yourself abundantly.
Much Love Cath xx